Week 19 ~ Train Body to Train brain…My Heart is Shattered!

 

tear This post will be short, as I am not in a good place right now.

Im trying to make my body, make my brain,  tell my heart it’s going to be ok.

My requirement is to post a blog weekly, and I have gladly done so.  Today I’m a Blubbering Mess, and I feel like I have absolutely no control over my heart.  I can’t stop crying, and I know my Husband understands, but I’m hiding away so I don’t make anyone uncomfortable. Our non-verbles govern how others think and feel about us.

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My precious little K.C. (Killer Chihuahua) was put to sleep Wednesday, and I’m so sad! He was 13.   I’ve always been a Certifiable “Empath”   I cry VERY easily, but except for losing my Mom 4 years ago, I haven’t felt this lost for a very long time.  If you’re not an Animal Lover, you wouldn’t understand.

He was in a lot of pain, so I knew I Loved him enough to let him go. Even his little Sister, “Miracle” our Kitty girl in the photo with him, is walking all over the house looking for him.  They have never been apart, for over 11 years,  except 5 hour flight on, our move to Kauai.

Mind Gym, Tears…. Power Poses,…tears.   I totally believe in the Postures we render. I just can’t find one for this.

Tiny Tweaks lead to Big Changes….

Our minds change our bodies….  Where does my Heart pain fit in?

I already know, this is another process…it takes time.  Just couldn’t think of anything but this to write about.

 

Always with much Aloha

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Week 18 ~ A War Within Me

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Today I knew I had to get to writing my Blog for the week.  I’ve been thinking long and hard about how to say, or shall I say (confess) how it went.  I’ve had an uncomfortable time, I mean Whoa!  Talk about my Old Blueprint trying to pull me back!!  There has been a virtual War within me!!  I’ve spent two whole days, in a catfight with my self, which spilled over into the Outside World!  I felt like the Old Me was winning, because I had a total meltdown the 2nd day!  My poor Hubster,  He has always been my Beacon of Hope ❤️ And he didn’t abandon me now either. He “walked me thru it” and I came back to earth, a bit worn out, but ready to talk… rationally.

With all the Magnificent things I have to be so Thankful for, where the Heck does this raving lunatic come from?  Truthfully, what set me off wasn’t anything earth shattering!  Something  Just rubbed me wrong.  This was me from so many years ago, I thought she was dead!  I’m perplexed as to why she’s rearing her ugly head now?  Associative Memory?   Even before MKMMA, I thought I buried her!  I hadn’t seen her for several years.  Why now??   Is this all a part of the transformation?  To now physically wrestle with the past?  I don’t want to go there.  I want to have the Peace we’ve had for the past 4 years.  Why the Hell did she come back?  With reading all the Obits, I keep hoping I might find her ( The Old Me)  somewhere there!

Personal History Alert!  I was a product of too many Prescription drugs, and I didn’t want to take them anymore!   My Dr. couldn’t take me off them until I saw a “Psychiatrist, so I went with the full intention to be taken off the Anti-depressants I had been put on 27 years ago!  Well, after sitting with this “Psyc” for several sessions, of her talking too much about herself, she told me she didn’t want me off the drugs. In fact, if you can believe it, she tried to put me on an additional drug!  That’s when I told her Goodbye.   Now mind you,  I had never had a reason to be put on them in the first place, it was just a “Brown Bag disease” to give anyone who had upsetting issues.  I was in an Abusive Marriage and needed to get out!  I cried a lot!  I was scared!   I never blew up, I never hurt anyone, never broke anything, I was just sad!   So I was diagnosed as Depressed. By the time I finally got out, I had become a wounded, untrusting, Bitch!  Long Story short(er)  I have now been Married to My precious, and final Husband for 16 years this month, and He has seen me come out of the shell of protection and I trust him World Without End!  Now, Let me disclose, My Guide here on Kauai, Lorelei, is also my Friend and more over; My Healer. A couple years ago, I asked her to help me get off all the drugs, and within a couple months of Healing Cleanses, and Spiritual Sessions, I was completely rid of all the Chemical poisons.

Mahalo a bazillion times Lorelei🌺War Within Me

Now I’m 4 Months into The MasterKey Mastermind Experience, and that witch, returns?  WTH!!   This is a struggle the New Me is going to win!  I refuse to go backward.  I know what to do, and I have the tools to Train my Brain.  Oh, and Answers are in the Silence, right!Very little is needed

Concentration; This is MY Transformation!

Exchanging; Old for New-Good for Better!

I truly am Natures Greatest Miracle!

WoW! The power of the Law of Thought!   I don’t refuse to Let Go of the Banana!  I already Love the Future me!   I already have the Tools and the Support.   I know what to do; Let go of the “Known” for the Awesome “Unknown!  The Call to Adventure, and proceed with the Hero’s Journey!  I am Courageous!

Today is a new day, and I get to start all over.   Forget about my encounter with my Old Blueprint, Let the Loser die!  Like Lorelei reminded me yesterday, Be the Observer 😎 I already know, what I know.  It’s already in me!  No more Self Doubt!All Wonderful Days Start Happening

I’m 1st Class! 

Oh wait!  What?  I get it!!  This is all a part of my “Virgin Birth!”  The Fog Lifts!

Question: “What Would the Person I Intend to Become, Do Next?

The World Needs Heroes!!!  And I’m continuing with the Progression. I’m happier because of it. First we get Happy, Then the good stuff Happens, not the other way around! (as per Trish Abeloff)

I Give myself Permission to be Happy!  So I’ll help myself to Happiness..Happiness is Haemony

 

 

 

 

 

Always With Much Aloha

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Week 17a Hero’s Journey

 

I’m Nature’s Greatest Miracle!  How Cool is this! Naturs Grest miracle

So what do I do with knowing this?

For one, I’m can give myself permission to be everything I Will myself to be!!   I’m allowed to be Amazing!  I’m totally in my rights to be Happy!

If this isn’t one of the most Magnificent gifts I can give myself, I don’t know what is!  I’m discovering my qualities, and how much I have to offer to others!  My Hubby has told me for over 16 years that I’m important, and valuable.  I gotta say, I understand this, and I believe it to be Truth!!

 

My sits have become my very own personal retreat to be with me.  Things are being addressed that a few months ago, I wouldn’t have touched with a 10 foot pole.  I’ve been forgiving people who have never bothered to apologize.  I see Wonderful new things in my Husband; My Best Friend.  We have always been close and loving, but now there’s a more “Friendly-ness”

Going in CirclesFor the past 10 years, I’ve been going around in circles, unable to get things done. Picture one of my feet nailed to the floor, moving all the time, and never moving forward.   I now can make decisions about things I just couldn’t even talk about, to anyone.

So this brings me to the Question. “What Are You Pretending not to Know”

You always had the power

 

I think a good answer to this could be; I have been pretending not to know, I have and have always had the power to do everything I need to do to find my Bliss❤️

 

 

 

 

Reading the Obits, is without a doubt, one of the hardest exercise for me.  I haven’t done it.  I’m honestly not being a Rebel.  I just feel so much discomfort with Death.  The last (2) Obits I read, I also wrote.  Humm, after saying this, I realize it sounds silly.

I did a good job on those Tributes, they were Beautiful… I was Celebrating their lives… It’s time to shake that feeling and believe they left all their Love right here with me.

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Progression

Moving Forward

This week my Virtue was “Enthusiasm”  I Love this, because I’m an enormously Demonstrative person.  I Greet each day with Love in my Heart…If anyone stands still long enough I’m hugging them. Just sayin.

Have a Magnificent Week!

Always with much Aloha🌺💕

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Week 17 ~ Well,….Organized.

get your shit togetherThis 3rd week on the Franklin Makeover, has been all about Well Organized.

This I’m not.

I’ve craved to be, for more years than I remember.  I’ve had several Friends try to help me, with non lasting effects.  It’s been my top of the Desire list.

If you were to peek into my Office…look of fear (cat)

 

So this week has been, um, well, interesting!  I have been at home for several days and making a pretty good dent in some chaos. Purging (11) big black trash bags of clothes.  Shredding a ton of paperwork in my file cabinet.

MessyDesk I Love how it feels afterward, when I’ve purged for days!  I really do!  It’s just I have too much stuff!   So here it is, Day 5 on my challenge to act on, or observe “Well Organized”  things.  It’s an ongoing thing with me, that I have made huge improvements since I brought over (2) 25 ft. Containers to Kauai almost 4 years ago.  Can You believe I still have (1) more container on my Mainland property to still bring over.  Long story short, the one that’s still sitting there in San Diego, was supposed to be the first one sent.  I know, I know, who needs that much stuff!  I’m an Artist so I have a boatload of supplies for my Art Studio, it cannot remain there, I will get it here, but not until, I settle with all the stuff already here.  I’ve been a (happily) busy girlie and it’s looking great!  I donated 8 bags of clothes and bunches of other things.  I have so much more to go, but have decided to have a yard sale.  Then donate the remainder.  hoping to make some money to ship my final container this year!  LOL! she started living the life she imagined

I do covet homes that look like a magazine,  but I Love my comfy “Put your Feet Up” home

I Promise, this is the year I will be rid of all un-needed stuff!

And I always keep my Promises!

 

Always with much Aloha🌺💕

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Week 16 ~ Observing Kindness

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This week has been a good week on so many levels. I have loved being an Observer of good stuff!  Kindness is and can be shown in infinite ways. The best part, it’s FREE!  So there’s absolutely no excuse to not execute kindness in everything you do!

I have always prided myself to be a giving person.  I know I have more things than I need.  but that’s just a part of the giving effect. image To be kind is a whole other ball game. It’s been heartwarming watching others, and has restored my feelings about people in general.  One thing I have personally seen… kindness can have a ricochet effect.  I can do something in kindness, and I’ll bet dollars to donuts, most of those people who were shown kindness, will repeat the gestures to someone else that same Day!

 

It’s no secret, with people who know me, My unconditional Love for animals.  I’ve always known; all they want is Love and kindness. image

Well, humans are really no different.  We basically want the same things.

If everyone would be more mindful, of others, all the time,  could you imagine the Love-fest we would live in!

In the words of Ellen Degeneres, “Be Kind to One Another”

Today i say; Kindness begins with me….

and a few words from my soapbox.

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Always with much Aloha🌺💕

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Week 15 ~ Point of No Return

ThePointOfNoReturn

Week 15 and I’m still here!

Time sure does fly.

I’m daily writing on my index card a statement of a positive thing that happened that day.  Size does not matter!  Also adding (25+) more achievements on my flash cards, adding shapes to them (randomly)

3 new things added to my Gratitude Cards.  Shuffling them and flashing thru them throughout the day.

My readings, my Sit, touching and spending time with my “Movie Board”, Reading Scroll IV.

Trying to memorize the 7 Laws of the Mind.

And this week adding my Makeover Spreadsheet….

I’m a wee bit overwhelmed, at this moment, but I plan to trudge thru and Get ur Done!

To be honest, I admit to several times, lately of wanting to just give it up….  I’m overwhelmed a lot lately,  and it would be easier to just stop.  But that’s what Quitters do!  I have never been a Quitter!  Well that’s not totally true.  I do know when to finally walk away, but not when I see a bright light at the end of the trek.

I Will Never Give up on Myself!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Always with much Aloha

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Week 14 ~ Change of Thought

Aloha and Happy New Year!

I first want to express my Gratitude for another year to make things right!  It’s all about change, for me, and I’m embracing it with both arms squeezing tightly.
HarmonyThis week had me concentrating on Harmony.  I will say, this has been so much easier than I would have thought 13 weeks ago.  I am in a place of peace and Harmony more than I have been in a long time.  My thoughts are changing,  and at a speed that has me spinning sometimes!  I say, “Did I say that?”  or “Wow I really do feel this way!”  My mental eye, is seeing progress, and joy, right at my feet.  I know now, it’s been there all along,  I was just looking beyond the now.  At least not looking at what was within my actual reach.  This was all from thinking negative thoughts and getting exactly what I thought about. (who knew!)   I’d be so pissed at myself ( for waiting so long) if it wasn’t such a negative thought towards myself! LOL!  Moving on…

Every man is the reflection of the thought he has entertained during his lifetime.

Let it Go tattooMy new Mantra this year will be “Let it Go!”  This is still challenging for me, but I am supporting myself in the process.  I have Faith in the Experience.

In Chapter 14,  all the electrons and cells and intellegance and negative electricity, had me scratching my head at first.  After reading it over and over,  much more of it made sense.  I know that a change in thoughts, helps me to change my conditions.

14.25  Thought is the only reality; conditions are but the outward manifestations; as the thought changes, all outward or material conditions must change in order to be in harmony with their creator, which is thought.  

 

14.26 But the thought must be clear cut, steady, fixed, definite, unchangeable…….you create your reality

 

 

 

 

 

 I hope you all reach your goals and beyond, this year!

Hau’oli Makahiki Hou!

Always with much Aloha

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