Week 18 ~ A War Within Me

war of 2 dragons

 

Today I knew I had to get to writing my Blog for the week.  I’ve been thinking long and hard about how to say, or shall I say (confess) how it went.  I’ve had an uncomfortable time, I mean Whoa!  Talk about my Old Blueprint trying to pull me back!!  There has been a virtual War within me!!  I’ve spent two whole days, in a catfight with my self, which spilled over into the Outside World!  I felt like the Old Me was winning, because I had a total meltdown the 2nd day!  My poor Hubster,  He has always been my Beacon of Hope ❤️ And he didn’t abandon me now either. He “walked me thru it” and I came back to earth, a bit worn out, but ready to talk… rationally.

With all the Magnificent things I have to be so Thankful for, where the Heck does this raving lunatic come from?  Truthfully, what set me off wasn’t anything earth shattering!  Something  Just rubbed me wrong.  This was me from so many years ago, I thought she was dead!  I’m perplexed as to why she’s rearing her ugly head now?  Associative Memory?   Even before MKMMA, I thought I buried her!  I hadn’t seen her for several years.  Why now??   Is this all a part of the transformation?  To now physically wrestle with the past?  I don’t want to go there.  I want to have the Peace we’ve had for the past 4 years.  Why the Hell did she come back?  With reading all the Obits, I keep hoping I might find her ( The Old Me)  somewhere there!

Personal History Alert!  I was a product of too many Prescription drugs, and I didn’t want to take them anymore!   My Dr. couldn’t take me off them until I saw a “Psychiatrist, so I went with the full intention to be taken off the Anti-depressants I had been put on 27 years ago!  Well, after sitting with this “Psyc” for several sessions, of her talking too much about herself, she told me she didn’t want me off the drugs. In fact, if you can believe it, she tried to put me on an additional drug!  That’s when I told her Goodbye.   Now mind you,  I had never had a reason to be put on them in the first place, it was just a “Brown Bag disease” to give anyone who had upsetting issues.  I was in an Abusive Marriage and needed to get out!  I cried a lot!  I was scared!   I never blew up, I never hurt anyone, never broke anything, I was just sad!   So I was diagnosed as Depressed. By the time I finally got out, I had become a wounded, untrusting, Bitch!  Long Story short(er)  I have now been Married to My precious, and final Husband for 16 years this month, and He has seen me come out of the shell of protection and I trust him World Without End!  Now, Let me disclose, My Guide here on Kauai, Lorelei, is also my Friend and more over; My Healer. A couple years ago, I asked her to help me get off all the drugs, and within a couple months of Healing Cleanses, and Spiritual Sessions, I was completely rid of all the Chemical poisons.

Mahalo a bazillion times Lorelei🌺War Within Me

Now I’m 4 Months into The MasterKey Mastermind Experience, and that witch, returns?  WTH!!   This is a struggle the New Me is going to win!  I refuse to go backward.  I know what to do, and I have the tools to Train my Brain.  Oh, and Answers are in the Silence, right!Very little is needed

Concentration; This is MY Transformation!

Exchanging; Old for New-Good for Better!

I truly am Natures Greatest Miracle!

WoW! The power of the Law of Thought!   I don’t refuse to Let Go of the Banana!  I already Love the Future me!   I already have the Tools and the Support.   I know what to do; Let go of the “Known” for the Awesome “Unknown!  The Call to Adventure, and proceed with the Hero’s Journey!  I am Courageous!

Today is a new day, and I get to start all over.   Forget about my encounter with my Old Blueprint, Let the Loser die!  Like Lorelei reminded me yesterday, Be the Observer 😎 I already know, what I know.  It’s already in me!  No more Self Doubt!All Wonderful Days Start Happening

I’m 1st Class! 

Oh wait!  What?  I get it!!  This is all a part of my “Virgin Birth!”  The Fog Lifts!

Question: “What Would the Person I Intend to Become, Do Next?

The World Needs Heroes!!!  And I’m continuing with the Progression. I’m happier because of it. First we get Happy, Then the good stuff Happens, not the other way around! (as per Trish Abeloff)

I Give myself Permission to be Happy!  So I’ll help myself to Happiness..Happiness is Haemony

 

 

 

 

 

Always With Much Aloha

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14 thoughts on “Week 18 ~ A War Within Me

  1. masterkeycskjerpen

    I’ve been there thinking I had been over it not seeing that I just buried it. Then someone asked me on a bad day how i was doing and tears just started flowing like a water main break.
    Not confronting what happened just made it worse,you are doing a great job on your journey. I am right here with you. Spread those wingsame it is time to fly. Shine Bright like the star you are.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  2. Master Key Sherry Post author

    Thank You so much Christine, IDK what it is, but you’re right, the tears come sometimes at the strangest times.
    Praying for you during all your tests. You got this baby!
    Much Aloha!
    🌺💕

    Like

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  3. Milton, A.

    You’re not alone in your experiences but you seemed to have been the observer all along but perhaps you may not have seen it that way. For me, when my old self comes back to visit I simply give thanks and remind my old self that I no longer need her but I will forever be grateful for the path she led me too otherwise I would not be a part of MKMMA and reading your fantastic blog.

    You are whole, strong, powerful, loving, harmonious and happy!

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  4. suzannemasterkey

    Your blog is so powerful, Sherry. Thanks for sharing your journey. I see that you persisted…. including moving right through the past into the present, and in love with the new you! You are courageous and inspiring.

    Like

    Reply

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